"As any lover of music knows Bye Bye Miss American Pie was about the legendary singer Buddy Holly, who by now would frankly be a little dry in the epidermis department (having been dead and buried for 50 years) and really in need of this similarly named luxurious, soothing and hydrating body moisturiser. Applied after bathing or showering it will leave your skin so silky and fragrantly soft to the touch, no lonely teenage broncin' buck will be able to resist picking you up in his arms and ravaging you hey, watch it, your ass is crushing his pink carnation"

(250 ml body moisturiser)