"I love you with the ferocity of an exploding thousand megaton nuclear bomb. Your eyes are like deep pools I could jump naked into and save you from drowning. You are my rock, my pebble, my grain of sand on the beach of life where I dream of us walking hand in hand forever. If you think these lines are cheesy, take your shoes off after a hard day of being on your feet and you'll then know exactly why you need this ultra cooling, refreshing, soothing and deodorising cream. Some new tights or socks wouldn't hurt either"